Its been a few days since I posted anything because I've been down in Cheshire visiting my parents over the weekend and spent today in a class full of 5 year olds, so I am very tired.
I went down for the weekend because relatives on my Mum's side were coming over to stay for a night and I don't get to see them very often at all. In fact this is only the second time they have visited us since we moved to Cheshire ... almost 14 years ago.
On the whole I had a fantastic weekend catching up with the extended family, walking the dogs, going shopping with Mum, reading my book in the sunshine and generally being around my little brother. However, Dad was in a very strange mood, which occasionally ruined the relaxed, happy feeling we all had. But this is nothing new.
(On a side note I thought my parents house was looking very tidy and well presented from the outside and that Mum had done an excellent job of the garden this year. So I've included photos)
While Dad was in a good mood it was all hugs and smiles every time I walked round the corner and came across him, I know he misses me when I'm away. But, like a flick of a switch, his mood could suddenly change from friendly to defensive, rude and aggressive. I'd give an example but they're harder to explain in writing if you can't here the tone of his voice which I imitate when explaining in person. In short, he was very rude to Mum for no explainable reason when she would just be trying to explain something or was being her usual slow self with the computer. This was done in front of Mums family as well as when they weren't here, which made him look even worse and the situation even more embarrassing.
When he'd leave the room, Mum and I would give each other the look we normally do, which say
whats got into him? Her answer, as always, was
no idea. Now Dad does suffer from low blood sugar which can have an effect on his moods but we'd kept him fed at regular intervals so that wasn't the explanation this time. Mum informed me that he'd been in this mood since Dad's older brother and his wife (my uncle and auntie) had been to visit the previous weekend. But this baffled us further as Mum thought the weekend went well and when I asked Dad about it, his was response was a positive one. His only comment was that it was the first time in his life that his brother had been to visit him, but this is surely a positive step forward? So that can't be the answer either.
Maybe it was because he was annoyed that he had band practice the first night I was home? He did appologise for this the next morning to which I told him not to be daft, as they have to practice before their next gig. So that problem was resolved, and besides, Mum said he had been in this mood
before I got there.
Why didn't we just ask him? Because we never have done. Or on the rare occasion that we've hinted at it we just get snapped at. Mum's distinct lack of ability to stand up to Dad in these situations is, to me, her most annoying quality. She is such a strong woman in other walks of life so why is she not when it comes to dealing with Dad? This, as said somewhere in the "Stephany" post, is a trait that has been passed down to me, with both Dad and Ben. It took a lot of effort for me to even stay in the room with Mum when this ritual of humiliation was going on, strength I have only found recently. In my head I am screaming at him and telling him to stop. Demanding an explanation. The problem is the words never come out of my mouth.
Despite this I feel the ability I found to stand by Mum and stay in the same room, rather than scamper off, is a (very small) step in the right direction. Maybe one day I'll tell him what I really think.
